Victory

Saturday I moved back into my dorm. Sunday I returned to Englewood Baptist Church, and the first song I sang was Victory in Jesus! Irony? I think not.

I am back! God has been gracious to me beyond imagination in the last three days. For two months, God said “no” to every request I gave him. But, I trusted God that eventually he would say “yes” again. He has indeed. Today I got an email from my doctor, and I am officially immune to mono and I’m free of that virus! I have returned to the only place I feel completely free, and it is a beautiful feeling.

Sunday, I leaned over to Molly in church and whispered, “It’s about time I had some victory!”

The Lord has tested me, tried me, and stretched me in the last two months. It has been the hardest situation I’ve ever faced. I was trapped in a rotation of bad circumstances. I don’t know exactly what God was trying to teach me because it came in such a variety of ways. However, I know there was a purpose, and I will try to let God’s work be evident.

Now I am back, and I am more thankful than ever to have friends, Molly, and a place to call home. It’s good to be back, Union! I promise to appreciate the daily blessings that I have here. I plan to give my all, even if my all is not what it once was. Life will be different from now on. I have a new normal. But praise God I can finally say that life IS normal again. The Lord works in mysterious ways. I promise I know this better than most.

I have not beaten Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. But I have decided not to give up, and to do everything in my power to live life to the fullest. Here’s to a great semester! Roll Tide. God bless.

In Christ,
Rom 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss

Ben Breedlove

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmlTHfVaU9o (part one of the video: follow the link to youtube)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4LSEXsvRAI&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL (part two)

These are the links to a video about a young man named Ben Breedlove (please watch). He had the same heart condition that I do (HCM). People magazine wrote an article about him, and his video was featured on ABC News recently. The youtube video has nearly 6 million hits, and millions more have heard his story.

Ben Breedlove died last month on Christmas Day. He was diagnosed with HCM at a young age, and he struggled with the disease and other health problems from birth. A friend of mine suggested I watch the video because of his courage and outlook on the situation.

At the conclusion of the video, he poses a piercing question to his audience. “Do you believe in angels?” “I do,” he said.

The news has praised his courage, faith, and have wondered at his amazing stories. Ben Breedlove died a hero to his friends and the people that have seen his friends. I watched the video and I was captured by his smile and his attitude. He was obviously content in spite of the circumstances. That portion of the video was encouraging.

However, I was more encouraged by the true reality that Ben hinted at; the truth that he stumbled upon and revealed to the world. Ben expressed that he believed that angels came and comforted him in time of distress. He alluded to a greater power and then the video ended. I have committed my life and this terrible situation to a bit of a greater cause. I do not wish to allude to a creator, but instead I proudly claim the name of the one true God and I have faith in his name. Our country appreciates faith, but it is scared to death of radical faith in a radical God. People praise the faith of a dying man, but they have no faith of their own. I think that Ben made bold statements in his video, and he lived a life worthy of praise. I strive to make bold statements about what God has done in my life, and to live a life that is worthy of giving God praise.

I hope you enjoy my perspective.

In Christ,
Rom 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss

Sympathy

Yesterday for the first time someone told me they felt sorry for me.

I was both surprised and a little saddened by this statement.  At that moment, my mind flew through the details of my situation and I laughed at the quip.  Personally, I think that I am the last person that should be pitied.  I appreciate the sympathy of those who assisted me and my family as I recovered from surgery, but now I do not welcome sympathy at my condition.  I am in a position that most people never get to experience, and for that I am thankful.

I think that my condition is a normal part of (my) life, and therefore, it is my responsibility to keep living.  It scares me when my friends or the people around me stop joking around with me or they act differently.  I am not a cripple or a dying man.  In fact, I have instructed my good friends to come up with as many ‘heart’ or defibrillator jokes as possible and I invite good humor.  I am the chief comedian about my condition.  I am the heartless jokester and I completely embrace that! So feel free to crack jokes and realize that I am ok with where I am in life.

I think that I am fortunate.  I know that I have a problem, and doctors are helping me fight it.  I have a medical issue, I don’t have a REAL heart issue.  I know what my future holds on earth, and I know where my future is past my days on this earth.  I do not wish for anyone to feel bad for me.  Instead, I hope that people that come into contact with me will be affected by the story that God has written for me.  This is all a part of his plan.  I am not happy with my diagnosis or my current situation with mono, but I am content in the work of the Lord in my life that has resulted from these problems.  I told my mom today, I have learned to rely on God daily, I have learned patience, contentment, and the fear of the Lord.

So please do not feel bad for me.  Feel bad for the people who have healthy earthly hearts and dying souls.  Don’t express to me your sadness, express to them your hope in Christ.  I praise God in this storm.  Please do the same.

In Christ,
Rom 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss

Mono-poly

It has been a while since I have felt the urge to write. I get the feeling that God has me in a learning phase right now, so it seems foolish for me to attempt to teach others based on my experiences right now.

By definition I’m a quarantined man too sick to leave the house. I have been diagnosed with mono and my doctor is especially concerned about infection getting to my heart. Therefore I’m confined to my house.

In reality I am mostly healthy and fully bored. I am not suffering from any of the debilitating symptoms of mono (extreme fatigue, fever). I am midway thru the course of the sickness and I am merely waiting for my body to return to full strength. While I am not “suffering” from mono, I am deeply affected by the presence of the virus. My life has been put on hold for another month. Another month of nervous waiting on test results. I am missing my favorite part of the school year. January term is the time to relax, get extra credit hours, and have fun in Jackson. Instead, while all of my friends do that, I sit at home and I’m barely allowed to see anyone. A few of my friends braved the contagion and paid me a visit. My girlfriend came and visited on the same day! These highlights will carry me onward.

I keep reminding myself that I have not been defeated. Maybe God is trying to prove that I am weak and he is strong. All I know is that I am going to beat sickness soon if it is the last thing I do. I love life. Right now I’m in the second level of a bad dream (Inception allusion) and so time moves slower than reality. A day feels like a week and a week seems like a droning cloud that won’t go away. However, inside of this cloud I feel the presence of God in a unique way. I know he is with me, I know he will not give me a test that I cannot handle, and I the enemy is powerless against him. More than ever I feel the gloom of the darkness, but I see the light at the end of this test shining way too bright to ignore. I know the test is rough. I hate it with daily determination. I hate the evil one who tempts me to give up on God and his plan. I do not hate the tester of my faith. I merely grit my teeth, thank him, and try slowly eat away at the ropes that bind me to this house.