ATΩ Halloweek

This week my fraternity will host its 2nd annual Halloweek fundraiser.  This means a lot to me personally because my fraternity began this initiative in my honor as a response to my diagnosis with Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy two winters ago. 

 The event benefits the American Heart Association in an effort to promote awareness and inspire research that will help fight heart disease.  Last year we raised $3000 dollars and we hope to build on that effort this fall.

 This event is just another fundraiser to most people at UU, but to me it is one of the most exciting events of the year.  It is one of the few moments that I find true purpose in my disease.  My fraternity has given me a platform to make a difference for people who are in the same boat as me.  I hope that you will think about donating money to this cause or sharing this post with somebody you know. 

 Almost everyone has a friend or family member affected by heart disease.  Unfortunately it doesn’t just affect the elderly.  It affects newborn kids, adults and young healthy people just like myself.  Do something to help today.  Any donation can help us reach our goal, and there is always hope that the AHA will help find a cure in the coming days.

 Here is a quick look at the schedule for this week and some ways that you can get involved. 

 This Wednesday night, Genghis Grill in Jackson will donate 20% of your purchase to Halloweek if you mention ATΩ.  Please go for dinner, invite your friends and enjoy some delicious food that will benefit AHA. 

 On Thursday night, we will host a Halloween party at 9pm at the ATΩ House for Union students. 

Friday night we will host a benefit concert featuring the Flying Colors and other Union bands.  Tickets to the concert are $5.

One of my brothers, Matt Taylor has offered to shave his beard (for the first time in 4 years) when we raise the first $250.  The chapter has offered to match this $250 donation if Matt finally shaves

All week we will be selling t-shirts for $10 and concert tickets for $5, so please ask any ATΩ brother or myself about purchasing a shirt, a ticket or making any donation.

Thanks and God bless.

-Stephen

Results

I visited the doctor at Vanderbilt last week for my bi-yearly checkup.  It was the least eventful trip we have had so far, and I got a good report.  Once again, the doctors said that my heart has not continued to grow, and it is a very similar size as it has been in my last two visits. 

This is good news because my heart was growing at a rapid rate when I was diagnosed, and now (under medication) my heart has stabilized and I think I am at a very healthy point considering my condition.

For the first time, last week I entered the office expecting to hear good news.  This is a new chapter in my medical condition and I am now positive about my immediate future.  My long-term outlook is unknown, but I am confident that God is in control of my situation.

I have increased freedom to exercise, and I look forward to being more active.  Thank you for your prayers.  It was the visit I needed to lift my spirits.   

Check Up Day

Tomorrow I will be visiting Vanderbilt University Hospital for a checkup with my cardiologist.  I enjoy my visits to Vandy, and every trip to Nashville is eventful.  Each one is a little nerve-wracking and every visit has consequences.  I am always anxious about these checkups, but every time so far the doctor has given me better news than the time before.

I will get an echocardiogram in the morning.  This is the most sophisticated heart imaging technology that there is, and it is an ultrasound that looks at the heart (instead of a baby).  This test saved my life so I like it–not to mention the jelly is pre-warmed so it’s like a massage.  After this, I meet with my cardiologist, Dr. Keith Churchwell (pictured below), who is the classiest and best dressed doc I have ever met.  He is the executive director and chief medical officer of Vanderbilt Heart and Vascular Institute, he is the regional president of the American Heart Association, and he has more degrees than a thermometer.  I am in good hands.

Please pray that I will hear the same thing that I have heard on my last 3 visits.  That is, my heart is not getting any worse, we do not need to do surgery, and the medicine is helping my condition.  I always pray the night before I get this test that my heart will be completely normal again.  I believe in miracles.  So I write this not as a prophecy,  but as a statement of my intentions to God.  If tomorrow I am healed, so be it.  If tomorrow I need a heart transplant, so be it.  God is in control. 

The Next Chapter

For the past 14 months, I have wrestled with this blog on many occasions. Many times I have typed out a post and then deleted it. I did not know how to continue my thoughts. Some things are better left untouched. Some things are best left unsaid. My silence on this blog can be attributed to many causes. I wrote the first several posts of this blog during an extraordinary part of my life. I am not the same person today that wrote those words.

I truly believe that the words I wrote were not mine, but those given to me by the Lord. As I read the posts again–more than a year afterwards–I do not understand how I focused so much on God at that point in my life. I struggle to give God my attention most of the time. He gripped me tight in my moment of need and it changed my focus, my heart, my mind. God is good.

According to this site (as of today), 9000 people have read those posts and visited my blog. That is a result of the work of a personal, powerful God in my life. It is a testimony of how God can use tragedy to get people’s attention in a unique way. Most people read my blog out of curiosity I assume. I was diagnosed with a disease and I wrote about it with honesty and vulnerability. People appreciate that.

God placed a burden on my heart (excuse the pun) that I should use my blog to share my grace story to the world. I hope that this blog has brought you hope. More hope than you had before–whether you believe in God or not. God is real, he is LOVE, and he has made my life special. I have a crummy heart, a big mouth, and a dream to impact the world.

God willing, I plan to write more on this blog. I have more to say. God has more work to do. God has a tendency to act when we have the faith to ask for something truly important. I need clarity for my vision. I thank God for this platform, and I will use it to point people to Jesus by telling stories.

Please continue to pray for me. I will continue to pray for the people that God brings to this blog.

This Is Your Life

I have been back in Jackson for nearly a month now! I have faced new challenges, regained strength, and struggled with the new realities of my condition. I have realized recently that during the first two months of knowing about my condition, I knew the exact restrictions that my new life would face. In this most recent chapter of my life, I have had to implement these changes on my own. If you’re curious, I would be glad to expound on these minute and massive changes that are affecting my daily routine.

The most impacting of these limitations is my new need for sleep. I have always loved sleep! It is my favorite pastime and I have always been a fan of the college afternoon nap. However, now I am running on a constantly lower level of energy, and I must maximize my sleep to get through the day. In other words, my doctor said I should limit all-nighter study sessions, 2am Taco Bell runs, and midnight movies. No matter what your age is, you are probably wondering why this would discourage me or affect my routine. Apparently you don’t know me well enough. My dad says that nothing good happens AFTER midnight. I am a firm believer that on a Christian college campus, nothing noteworthy happens BEFORE midnight! I treasure my memories of pledging ATΩ and being a crazy freshman last year. I lived my life to the fullest, and pushed my body to the limits. However, now I have to grow up and act like I’m civilized. I now aim to be in bed by midnight every night, and I try to nap daily. Even then, I am not at the “Old Stephen” 100%, but that is to be expected.

The next big shock was the reality of not playing basketball. It was a little easier to take the shock of being told I would never play my favorite sport again when I was 80 miles from the UU Big Gym and intramural basketball. Now I am daily surrounded by my brothers and an entire school focusing on basketball for the next two months. I love the game unlike anything else. Instead of quitting completely, I actually signed up to coach and play for a lower division (and competition level) basketball team with my fraternity. As mascot, coach, and star bench player, my role is to coach the team, and to come in and stand in the corner for one minute each game. For that entire minute my teammates feed me the ball until I make a routine shot that fifth graders in P.E. can make on a regular basis. What 99% of people in the gym do not realize is that the moment that I do score is the biggest thrill of my new lifetime! In our first intramural game, I scored 5 points without breaking a sweat and was happier than a kid in a candy shop! The 3-pointer I made felt like a game-winner. The layup felt like a buzzer beater. My one assist made me feel like John Stockton, and my one rebound made me feel like Dwight Howard. I cannot explain to you the agony of walking down a court, knowing full-well that my body is able to run. However, with this knowledge, I cannot explain the joy that I get from just being on the court. My athletic body died on December 2, 2011. My new heart was born, and I am now a broken vessel made for another purpose. I have taken it upon myself to be the official basketball encourager for ATΩ this semester!

Overall, my new life is great. My handicap spot has made life easier, my friends have been understanding of my situation, and I have begun to forget my “dire” situation. Most days, I feel slightly tired, but magnificently normal! It is a blessing to be average once again and I do not take it for granted. Occasionally I get offended at the ignorance of a stranger or the comment of someone I know, but I don’t know well. I do not expect anyone to understand, but thankfully my true friends know what I am going through psychologically. I poured out my heart to my fraternity brothers last Sunday in meeting. It was quite therapeutic, and afterwards I felt like some of them had a grasp on the nitty gritty details of my life.

From now on, I am determined to stick to my regimen of healthy living and safety precautions. However, I plan to fly under the handicap radar, as I want as few people as possible to recognize my inabilities. Call me a coward, or call me a human being; I want to do whatever is necessary to stay alive (Not picking up heavy things for a girl in need, not volunteering for grunt work, staying away from mosh pits and fights). I hate that I have lost the ability to help some, but I have been forced to realize that I must fight to stay alive for the rest of my life. It starts now.

Therefore, I am going to quit writing and go study for the two tests I have tomorrow.

To God be the Glory,
Rom 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss

“This is your life, are you who you want to be?” -Switchfoot

Opportunity

Today I am seeing some of the fruit of my experiences over the last two months. I am more than thankful that God has provided me with opportunities to speak about what I have seen and heard.

Sunday night I was privileged to address my fraternity brothers and share some stories and lessons that I learned while I was away. Tonight, I have the opportunity to speak to the youth group at Englewood in Jackson. I am excited and blessed to have a chance to warn these kids that tomorrow is not guaranteed, and the good things in life should be treasured while they are ours.

Please pray for me as I share my thoughts, and pray that God will work and convict students of living lives that don’t acknowledge the daily presence of God’s grace.

In Christ,
Rom. 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss

Time

Until two months ago, I had never found a decent excuse to say “no” to anyone who asked for a piece of my time. Now, with my current condition, I have no choice, but to cut down on the things I am involved in. Life is much different this semester, without the same ability to be carefree and relaxed about how I spend my time. Instead, now I must strictly schedule myself so I do not over-commit myself. I am the president of my class and my fraternity. I have a wonderful girlfriend, and a brotherhood unlike no other in Alpha Tau Omega.

I am learning to adjust to my new normal. Each day I learn new things that I can’t do anymore. However, each day I realize new things that I can focus on to help avoid dwelling on the negative. God has given me good friends to encourage me, class to occupy my time, and responsibility to minimize my free time.

My first day officially back at Union, I attended a leadership conference with keynote speaker Dr. Tim Elmore. As the author of Habitudes, he uses pictures to teach leadership principles. One of the images was called Rivers and Floods. In this analogy, Elmore compared the efforts and energy of a leader to that of a river (focused and channeled) or a flood (undirected and chaotic). This lesson spoke to me, and challenged me to be intentional with my relationships this semester. My friend and ATΩ pledge educator told me that afternoon, “I believe that, much like Christ, each of us can only have 12 truly intentional relationships in our lives.” Later in the afternoon, Elmore stressed the importance of every leader choosing and training a “Joshua”, or a successor. These principles lit a fire under me and encouraged me to pursue meaningful relationships and to use my time wisely.

Therefore, I am learning to say no to some opportunities, and to focus on others. I am limited, and therefore I must limit myself before my disease takes control and becomes the enforcer! I apologize in advance if I cannot help everyone, lead everyone, or spend time with everyone this semester. While I want to spend time with everyone, God has drastically interrupted my plans in the last two months. My life is now much different. God has assigned me to my post. I know why he put me there, and I am going to pursue excellence in my calling (and only my calling).

In Christ,
Rom 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss

Victory

Saturday I moved back into my dorm. Sunday I returned to Englewood Baptist Church, and the first song I sang was Victory in Jesus! Irony? I think not.

I am back! God has been gracious to me beyond imagination in the last three days. For two months, God said “no” to every request I gave him. But, I trusted God that eventually he would say “yes” again. He has indeed. Today I got an email from my doctor, and I am officially immune to mono and I’m free of that virus! I have returned to the only place I feel completely free, and it is a beautiful feeling.

Sunday, I leaned over to Molly in church and whispered, “It’s about time I had some victory!”

The Lord has tested me, tried me, and stretched me in the last two months. It has been the hardest situation I’ve ever faced. I was trapped in a rotation of bad circumstances. I don’t know exactly what God was trying to teach me because it came in such a variety of ways. However, I know there was a purpose, and I will try to let God’s work be evident.

Now I am back, and I am more thankful than ever to have friends, Molly, and a place to call home. It’s good to be back, Union! I promise to appreciate the daily blessings that I have here. I plan to give my all, even if my all is not what it once was. Life will be different from now on. I have a new normal. But praise God I can finally say that life IS normal again. The Lord works in mysterious ways. I promise I know this better than most.

I have not beaten Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. But I have decided not to give up, and to do everything in my power to live life to the fullest. Here’s to a great semester! Roll Tide. God bless.

In Christ,
Rom 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss

Ben Breedlove

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmlTHfVaU9o (part one of the video: follow the link to youtube)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4LSEXsvRAI&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL (part two)

These are the links to a video about a young man named Ben Breedlove (please watch). He had the same heart condition that I do (HCM). People magazine wrote an article about him, and his video was featured on ABC News recently. The youtube video has nearly 6 million hits, and millions more have heard his story.

Ben Breedlove died last month on Christmas Day. He was diagnosed with HCM at a young age, and he struggled with the disease and other health problems from birth. A friend of mine suggested I watch the video because of his courage and outlook on the situation.

At the conclusion of the video, he poses a piercing question to his audience. “Do you believe in angels?” “I do,” he said.

The news has praised his courage, faith, and have wondered at his amazing stories. Ben Breedlove died a hero to his friends and the people that have seen his friends. I watched the video and I was captured by his smile and his attitude. He was obviously content in spite of the circumstances. That portion of the video was encouraging.

However, I was more encouraged by the true reality that Ben hinted at; the truth that he stumbled upon and revealed to the world. Ben expressed that he believed that angels came and comforted him in time of distress. He alluded to a greater power and then the video ended. I have committed my life and this terrible situation to a bit of a greater cause. I do not wish to allude to a creator, but instead I proudly claim the name of the one true God and I have faith in his name. Our country appreciates faith, but it is scared to death of radical faith in a radical God. People praise the faith of a dying man, but they have no faith of their own. I think that Ben made bold statements in his video, and he lived a life worthy of praise. I strive to make bold statements about what God has done in my life, and to live a life that is worthy of giving God praise.

I hope you enjoy my perspective.

In Christ,
Rom 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss

Sympathy

Yesterday for the first time someone told me they felt sorry for me.

I was both surprised and a little saddened by this statement.  At that moment, my mind flew through the details of my situation and I laughed at the quip.  Personally, I think that I am the last person that should be pitied.  I appreciate the sympathy of those who assisted me and my family as I recovered from surgery, but now I do not welcome sympathy at my condition.  I am in a position that most people never get to experience, and for that I am thankful.

I think that my condition is a normal part of (my) life, and therefore, it is my responsibility to keep living.  It scares me when my friends or the people around me stop joking around with me or they act differently.  I am not a cripple or a dying man.  In fact, I have instructed my good friends to come up with as many ‘heart’ or defibrillator jokes as possible and I invite good humor.  I am the chief comedian about my condition.  I am the heartless jokester and I completely embrace that! So feel free to crack jokes and realize that I am ok with where I am in life.

I think that I am fortunate.  I know that I have a problem, and doctors are helping me fight it.  I have a medical issue, I don’t have a REAL heart issue.  I know what my future holds on earth, and I know where my future is past my days on this earth.  I do not wish for anyone to feel bad for me.  Instead, I hope that people that come into contact with me will be affected by the story that God has written for me.  This is all a part of his plan.  I am not happy with my diagnosis or my current situation with mono, but I am content in the work of the Lord in my life that has resulted from these problems.  I told my mom today, I have learned to rely on God daily, I have learned patience, contentment, and the fear of the Lord.

So please do not feel bad for me.  Feel bad for the people who have healthy earthly hearts and dying souls.  Don’t express to me your sadness, express to them your hope in Christ.  I praise God in this storm.  Please do the same.

In Christ,
Rom 12:1-2
Stephen Hauss